An Interpretation - Nightswimming

A lot of my favorite songs have come from no place other than CTY. The canon list is a list of classics from the 70s' till now. And so, I felt that I have to pay tribute to R.E.M's Michael Stipe for writing one of the best songs ever - Nightswimming.

According to interviews, Stipe talked about how the song was about the early days of the band. They would go skinny dipping with friends in the summer, but that was a long time ago, a time back in their youth. However, I feel like there is definitely more than what meets to eye with this song. Here's my best to give a justified interpretation of the lyrics.


The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,
the photograph denotes an item that the author holds dear to his heart, even though it's been a long time since the photo was taken

Turned around backwards so the windshield shows.
Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse.
I feel like Stipe is trying to allude to an alternate fate and how, since much time has passed since the photo had been taken, he perhaps sees reality in a different light

Still, it's so much clearer.
I forgot my shirt at the water's edge.
The moon is low tonight.

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.
I'm not sure all these people understand.

He's actually talking about physically swimming at night. However, it's clear that he knows that the people today don't actually understand the meaning behind the action.

It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water.

This shows that the author is now older and feels differently about the same actions. Maybe, looking back on this "rebellious" act, he feels aged and wistful, that he cannot experience the same event again.

They cannot see me naked.
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday.

I feel like the author here is saying that "they" can't see him both physically naked, and "emotionally" naked. As in he's grown apart from some of these people, so to them, they no longer see the entirety of his being, of his soul.
'These things that go away ... everyday' talks about how even though these things (eg. the physical act of nightswimming) may not be here anymore, they're integrated in his everyday life, not necessarily replaced by the things in his older life.

Nightswimming, remembering that night.
September's coming soon.
I'm pining for the moon.
And what if there were two
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
That bright, tight forever drum
Could not describe nightswimming.

First, this is talking about how he misses the days of his youthful summer and how he longs for those moonlit adventures. The two moons he talks about, again, could be his referencing to two different realities, and how he sees the world in a second way. The "drum" is a metaphor. Drums keep time, and one of the first methods of keeping time was using the sun. By using this image, the author is hinting that this "tight" drum, will never stop beating and that it is constantly repeating its rhythm (emphasized even more, by the trademark piano riff which makes this song so memorable.)
Also, the sun and moon are traditionally referred to as opposites. Maybe Stipe's talking about something that was quite normal at the time, but now, is viewed as extraordinary. Something that seemed so mundane, is now inexplicably beautiful. In a way, maybe he wishes that he could have understood that, back then.
You, I thought I knew you.
You I cannot judge.
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath.
Nightswimming.

I believe here, he's talking about this one person, or maybe a few of them, whom he loved. 'You I though I knew you' is talking about how he once loved this person and how he still does, as he is unable to judge them. But that person cannot remember him, as they don't 'know' him anymore. He finds this ironic, as even though the act of nightswimming is eternally unforgettable, love easily withers and dies. So he resorts to 'laughing.. underneath my breath'.


The photograph reflects, every streetlight a reminder.
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night, deserves a quiet night.

This is Stipe's conclusion. The photograph  and the street-lights are mentioned once again. The first is to remind the audience of something that, even though has transpired long ago, is still something that haunts him to this day. The latter is talking of how he could see maybe a different Fate, and that now that he's 'grown up', he sees the world in a different light. The streetlights remind him of how he cannot turn back time to revisit the time of "nightswimming". And that, he will forever remember, during quiet nights of reminiscence.

We all have our ways of "nightswimming", so I guess doing what I'm doing now, is mine.

After the Hiatus

Here's me again after a hiatus.

I decided to write a song that I felt described being apart from something for a long time. I know there are billions of love ballads out there, but I feel like adding my 2 cents worth.

So here's to California Dreaming :)

I’ve been running around for far too long

Trying to catch a breath of fresh air

But I guess I know now that I don’t belong

In this smoke and mirrors fair

I’ve been chasing a dream in my heart of hearts

Trying to pin a moonbeam down

But I guess I know now where home is

Not in this crazy, self-assured town

To tell you the truth I’m still hanging on

I know you want me to move, but I can’t go on

Chorus:

I’m still California dreaming

Cos time’s just never enough

I’m still waiting crying bleeding

Because I still believe in love

I’m still California dreaming

Of a place I called my home

I’m alive but barely breathing

In love with a boy who I used to know

I’m still California dreaming

Waiting on a boy who might never know

Maybe he’ll forget all about me

Maybe that’s the way our story goes

I’ve been stuck in hell for far too long

But I guess I know now I still got my pride

You were next to me, haunting me all along

Mourning the day the music died           

I want to remember being not afraid

How we threw the doubters out

How we became heroes for the rest our days

How I saw courage in your face

To tell you the truth I’m still hanging on

I know you want me to move, but I can’t go on

Chorus x1

I’m still California wishing

That I’ll stay in your warm heart

I hope you’ll find what you wanted

What you want is in my arms

I’m still California Dreaming

Of how we built a world with our dreams

Maybe I’ll find that place again somday

And I’ll know who I want to be

Will I find that perfection again?

Will these dreams live on someday?

All I can do is cry and wait

May we last forever, let it be Fate

I’ve been keeping my head above the water

Figuring out what’s the truth

But I want you to know I’ll wait until
I can see another sunrise with you

Someday I will tell my children about you

A band rebels who conquered their fears

How we fought darkness side by side

Exchanging hope in place of tears

I’m still California dreaming

Of a place I called my home

I’m alive but barely breathing

In love with a boy I used to know

I’m still California dreaming

Waiting on a boy who might never know

Maybe he’ll forget all about me

Maybe that’s the way our story goes

I’m still California wishing

That I’ll stay in your warm heart

I hope you’ll find what you wanted

What you want is in my arms

I’m still California believing

we built a world with our own dreams

Maybe I’ll find that place again someday

And I’ll know who I want to be

I’m still California dreaming

I see a fate that’s just  me and you

Maybe you’ll join me again in a fairytale

Maybe my dreams will come true

What's "American Pie"?

Because Don McLean, the writer of the song "American Pie", never formally disclosed what he meant by "American Pie", no one actually knows the true meaning of it. Everyone's entitled to their own interpretation, so I took a look at a couple from Urban Dictionary and this one stood out:

"A GOOD movie (3 out of 4 stars from Ebert-can't deny that) about 4 high school seniors trying to get laid before they graduate. "

That was definition # 7. I think that proves my case: people of my generation have a very different opinion of what American Pie is.

I asked around and here are a few responses that I got:
"Not needing to work anymore for a living is American Pie"
"Finding true love, losing it, and finding it again is American Pie"
"American Pie is understanding yourself and learning that the music never died"

I guess this is a very open phrase but it generally deals with the pursuit of happiness. And I think everyone is entitled to this! If any one has any definition they want to share, write it in the comments box! Reliving American Pie is all about breaking down definitions or finding new ones that fit the bill.

The Bits and Pieces of Heaven

In my previous post, I've talked about hell. Alright. Now, I should probably talk about heaven.

From what I know now, I can honestly say that heaven comes in bits and pieces most of the time. The only true heaven on earth for hopelessly wandering nerds like me will be CTY. But the problem with CTY is that right after the climax, you have to go home to your old life. When the party really gets going, it stops. Now, since I can't be in Heaven all the time, I can reconstruct it will small bits and pieces. And how am I supposed to do that?

It's simple. Just do what I love doing at CTY.

I'll be blogging about nearly all things CTY and more, in the future. But for now, I'm content to just sit here and type this: If you've read this, then you've LOST THE GAME! :)

Finding sorrow

This blog is one about life. So I'll be writing about nearly everything: how I feel, new looks, inspirations, and stuff that gives me hope. And don't be surprised if I mention CTY ;) That place changed my life. I wouldn't be who I am without it.

I guess one of the first steps to finding yourself is to help yourself. And by helping yourself, you have to identify the heaven and hell aspects of your life.

So for this post, it'll be on hell.

So what's hell for me?

Hell is when someone just decides to point a finger at you and blame you for something you never did. Hell is when people decide to mock you because they're so insecure about themselves, that they need a scapegoat. Hell is when someone you trusted, turns their back on you because they want to lift themselves "upwards and onwards". Hell is when someone whom you lifted up, lets you fall to the ground because they didn't want to be seen picking you up. Hell is when people decide to ignorant and judgemental.

Ultimately, Hell is when pretenders get to decide what is the "truth". When they fail to understand that everyone has a right to their own piece of happiness.

But I guess to solve this, to take the high road, is to create your own heaven in the midst of all of this.
The way I see it, take life one bit at a time. Just take it slow. I say to myself, why let them judge me by their standards? I should feel sorry for them, because by doing this, they kill their own ability to find "heaven". I guess maybe I'll pushed around, mocked and taunted for a couple more years. But then again, so what? Someday, I'll walk up that Stairway to Heaven. And I've started that journey already. By finding CTY.

The Day the Music Died

Most people have dealt with a crisis within their lifetime; mostly with internal conflict. My conflict has been with myself and my generation. My generation is the electronic generation. Gone are the days people when people sit down to write poetry, music and create worlds of art to express their dreams, their hopes. Nowadays, everyone just writes because it's fashionable, especially with the creation of Tumblr. But I want to find myself through writing. I want to go on a journey and discover my heart of hearts. And I'm going to do that by writing one essay at a time.

So what's this all about anyways?

Well, I guess this is about trying to relive the concept of American Pie :)